By Liv Larsson
This publication should help make disgrace, guilt and anger your allies rather than our enemies. they could develop into keys in your internal existence and for your goals. learning those emotions may help you higher meet your wishes for admire, reputation, belonging and freedom. What will be attainable in the event you not had to diminish your self to prevent disgrace or guilt?
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Additional resources for Anger, Guilt and Shame_ Reclaiming Power and Choice
As many times as they had talked, he had always promised not to be late again. And it had worked! For about three days. Then he started to arrive late again. And each time, his explanations were even longer because he was even more ashamed. The situation worsened rather than being solved by them talking to him. This is a typical result when we are trying to motivate someone to change their behavior by shame or blame. When we say something and other people hear it as criticism, they have not heard what our needs are.
As cowardly as I am, it’s no wonder that they ran over me ... ) ... I let myself be treated like a door mat. Friend: Sounds like you are really disappointed and want to be understood in how hard this has been for you? Anna: Yes, but ... I have been creating it myself. I simply get what I deserve. Friend: So you mean that you are really sad and would have liked to have made other choices? Anna: Yes, it is so difficult to deal with this and move on, it is killing me and I am accusing myself too, because I did not dare talk to them.
He told me about how he wrestled with lots of thoughts about what he should do. The strongest idea was that he should be at his partner’s side although he would prefer to dance and socialize with others. He realized that he was desperately trying to avoid feeling guilty. It helped him become aware that he was torn between meeting his need for freedom and his need to contribute. Trying to avoid the guilt he had became more and more confused. When it became clear to him how important it was to both feel free and to contribute to his partner, he could make more aware choices to meet his needs.